And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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