Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Buhtt sex?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
