Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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