No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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