I think I am morally bankrupt
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
