brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It's just like the Real World with babies
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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