Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
