He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
