Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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