Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
