just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
