It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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