My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
