I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
