really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
