O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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