I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize