so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
