Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
