coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
