i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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