Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
