OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
