**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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