My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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