i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
