Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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