When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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