piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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