I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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