i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
