once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
