How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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