I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
