Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
