Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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