Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
