So drunk its hurt
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
