I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
