Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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