the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.