is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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