I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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