When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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