I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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