We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How external is "for external use only"?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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