uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
