i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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