you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
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Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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