Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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