i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
