Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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