Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
