either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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