if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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