I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
