It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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