I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
