quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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