I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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